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Lyndon Hood - clearly not paying attention to blog

Wednesday, October 01, 2014

Here is something I prepared just now and two things from earlier. In order of recentcyness:

The Source Of Denial

Confession time.

All those anonymous sources you see quoted in the media: me.

I am every anonymous source. I am also every anonymous twitter account, but you know me best as every anonymous source.

All of them. Each one.

Actually, since we're telling the truth, perhaps not all of them. Some anonymous sources have useful or important information. Sometimes it's even verifiable. None of those are me. But I've been working on crowding them out and mostly, these days, it's me.

I've also done a little work on the real anonymous twitter accounts. More>>

There Is No Surveillance In New Zealand

There is no surveillance in New Zealand
There is no one listening to your phones
There is no surveillance in New Zealand
You can all crawl back under you stones

But everybody's talking about the GCSB
Everybody's talking about the GCSB
Picking on their own country
With digital technology

We have no
emails
We have no
textses
We have no
web histories
We have no
webcam chats
webcam chats
no no
More>>

Werewolf: Voting By The Good Book

1 The words of the Satirist, the son of guy called Jim, mostly just publishes press releases on Scoop.

2 Vanity of vanities, saith the Satirist, vanity of vanities; all is vanity.

3 What profit hath a man of all his efforts to decide who to vote for?

4 One leader passeth away, and another leader cometh: but the attempted superficial charm abideth for ever.

5 The poll riseth, and the poll goeth down, and hasteth to his place whence it arose.

6 The party go-eth toward nationalism, and turneth about unto harsh justice policy, then maybe beneficiary bashing or tax cuts; it whirleth about continually, and the party returneth again according to his circuits.

7 All the candidates call for the policy; yet the policy is not released; those from whence most demands come, are most barren of it.
More>>

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Lyndon Hood - possessor of some spare time apparently, Wellington

Friday, August 15, 2014

I may get to making a picture but for once the blog can have this fresh:

Laundering Dirty Politics

Prime Minister John Key, Probably: Well you have to remember Nicky Hager is a well-known conspiracy theorist.

SN: In that he is presenting evidence of people conspiring, secretly, to do things?

PMJK,P: Exactly. Point proven.

SN: Some of which sound illegal.

PM: They don't sound illegal to me.

SN: Why not?

PM: I'm not listening.

More>>

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Lyndon Hood - Semi-Legendary, Wellington

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

On Scoop: Stone Peter, Craggy Colin And The White Man

How Humanity Stole The Power Of Saying Awful Things And Then Acting All Wronged When People Get Shocked By Them From The Gods

(I mean, surely that picture is worth a thousand words of you reading the words. After that you can make up your own mind.)

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Lyndon Hood - kind of worried now, Wellington

Monday, August 04, 2014

Werewolf 49:
From The Hood : Carry On Captaining

Oh hello. Scanner Technician Davis. To what do I owe the pleasure?

You think we’re what?

Oh, pish. This vessel has been travelling along smoothly for generations – particularly smoothly in the last few years though I say so myself – and I happen to know we have never once been hit by an asteroid, so put your mind at rest. Good day. More>>

***

And on Scoop:
Colin Craig Buys Into Civilian Party

At a surprise press conference this morning, Conservative Party leader Colin Craig and Civilian Party leader Ben Uffindell announced plans to form an alliance to contest the 2014 General Election...

Asked whether an alliance between an iconoclastic mocker of the status quo with a rich white man who personifies everything that's ludicrous about the establishment seemed unlikely, Craig explained that "apparently that's the way these things normally work". More>>

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Lyndon Hood - Most outdated yet, Wellington

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Oh hey. I wrote some things this year...

March: From The Hood : Unofficial Cabinet Manuals

“You, of course, are wronged.

It is unfair. Promoting New Zealand enterprise is the government’s job. Yet suddenly speaking favourably of a company’s product is wrong. Just because your husband happens to be a director.

As if he could possibly get any benefit from that. As if any benefit he could get from that could match that supreme joy of being chosen as your life-mate. More>>

April: From The Hood : Fol-De-Royal

On Monday, the royals landed in New Zealand. Stepping out of the plane, the Duke of Cambridge was resplendent in his red Catherine Walker coat and matching pillbox hat by Gina Foster. He was also wearing a diamond and platinum silver fern brooch, on loan from the Queen. Baby George won the heart of the nation by exhibiting his impression of a disappointed Winston Churchill. More>>

Werewolf: From The Hood : Finding A Happy Media

I’m still not sure why the PM never engages – whether it really is because of the bottom feeders and trolls, or because he doesn’t want the Internet to see him acting like he does in Question Time, or because he hasn’t worked out how to charge twenty dollars per response on behalf of the National Party. But it struck me he must have a huge backlog, which doesn’t seem right. In New Zealand we’re proud of how accessible our politicians are.

So I thought I should have a go at answering them. I am doing this in John Key’s capacity as Prime Minister. I figured that what with all those fundraisers where he’s not in his capacity as Prime Minister, he wouldn’t mind me borrowing it for a bit. In that spirit, let’s clear up some of those unanswered questions. I thought I’d start with some of mine. More>>


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Lyndon Hood, been busy abbreviating Shakespeare, Wellington

Monday, November 18, 2013

Oh hey, I did not blog this yet. Come on with those clicks.



Werewolf: The Masque Of The Blue Line

It was a good party, up to a point.

The trouble started with the idea of seeing whose costume was scariest. We decided to hold a competition: a series of one-on-one eliminations ending with one super-scary winner. Like with the Act Party.

More>>

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Lyndon Hood - Lyndone Hoode, Wellington

Friday, October 04, 2013


werewolf » From The Hood : Pure Petroleume

Lorde parody, based on a general idea which must be among the three most obvious Royals parody ideas (done at least once). But turned out to be good timing, what with yesterday's news.

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